Cosmo Asked, I Answered

[imood mood at time of entry: worn]

I am finally getting around to retyping everything up after the disk wiping incident last week. I was so busy and frustrated by the loss of all my hard work that I couldn’t bare to type anything up, or make a new disk. That, and I didn’t have a clean disk on me. I didn’t want to use some previously used disk for my writing. It is special to me. A true extension of who I am as a person. And for that, it deserves its own disk that has never been used for anything else, ever. Reading back over that, it sounds a bit extreme, but whatever, everything I write tends to have a persona all of its own. So it makes demands, like being written down, or having its very own disk. *lol* I truly am nuts.

So anyway, back to the entries. I have these two entries that I wrote last week and intended to type up and post here and at LiveJournal. I wanted them to be posted in both, so, I will post both, one in each journal today, and then switch the entries the next time I update my journals.

The first is the Cosmopolitan question that I came across. I was casually reading through the July issue of Cosmo while waiting on my mother to pick me up from the library outside of Downtown after it closed late last week. I read the mini one sentence articles that Cosmo include on some of its pages. This one particular mini article happened to suggest a way to increase the emotional intimacy between a woman and her boyfriend. The magazine suggested that the woman ask her man to describe himself in five words. It’s an old technique, but it works and never fails to get people thinking. It sure got to me. I mentally dog-eared the idea for later use, but I also wanted to see how I would describe myself. Words like “depressed”, “writer”, “indecisive” all came to mind. But the following five are the ones that simply stuck. I went on to write a brief entry afterward.

Five Words, One Me

As Flirty as I am, I am still terribly Insecure when it comes to being certain of the affections of others. I am incredibly Passionate about a hell of a lot of things, but once again, Insecurity washes over me, snatching the witty phrases away before I can utter them. I have gotten through Life because I am imaginative to a sometimes paralyzing degree. My Imagination has saved me from nervous breakdowns, panic attacks, suicide, and bad relationships. My Imagination has given me comfort when I needed it most, stories to entertain me, and the ability to wrap my teachers in an awesome paper, only to have them float wistfully to the end, and me to an ‘A’. My Imagination has been my Corruptor and my Savior more times than I care to count, but I value each and every one of those times. I am acidically Spoiled in every sense of the word. I was born “middle-class”, became “poor”, but always expected the best, after all, it is what I was accustomed to. Though “the best” carries a negativity, it could just as easily mean the best love, the best hug, or the best me that I could never dream of. So when I say that I am Spoiled, believe that I am, but know that it may not always mean what you think it does.

Danielle