The S & M Queen Will Reign Supreme

[imood mood at time of entry: saucy]

Yea, I know that I am a day ahead, but I keep posting forward thinking that I will not be able to make it to the library or Prestina’s house. I don’t want the days to get too, too cluttered as I tend to write longer entries now in an effort to explain everything throughly. Even then I don’t get everything out. So I am going to finish up on what happen on Thursday (December 18, 2003) with Cris, talk about my nipples as has been requested by Deimos, and talk about my future as an S&M queen. Ready? Go!

I have known this for some time now. I am going to be an S&M queen/fiend/dominatrix when I get older. I just am. I love intense feelings of pleasure, but spiking it with pain just drives me wild for some unknown reason. Whenever I see someone getting tackled to the ground or handcuffed or shoved up against something and then kissed or anything roughly done with aching sexual undertones I just get OOOOOOOOO!!! excited! I can’t help it really. It’s not even my fault. *shakes head up and down* Personally, I blame my upbringing once again. You know how when people have to spend their lives suppressing their sexuality and then it comes out in funny ways. So far I’ve been able to channel that pent up energy into writing, and working and voluteering and cooking and anything else I can get ahold of, but one day, just one day coming up, I am going to explode all over some nice young man or young lady. I am going to just snap because I want a different kind of release and when that happens, look out population (!) because Danielle’s going to be on the loose and on the prowl! Grrrowl!

About my nipples, they’re nice nipples really. They’re perfectly round and dark brown. They are smallish. Actually I think they are the perfect size. Not too big and not too small. They grow erect with no logical provocation at all. Oh, and I can lick my own nipples since my boobs are so big. hehe Fun huh? *lol*

The reason I figured out that Cris was just bullshitting everyone was because of something he said. I don’t even remember what is was right now, but I had been thinking about it earlier today. It was just something about the way he said it too. He even called some girl that he stood up and left her a long messgae apologizing to her. Hmmm.

I saw him on the way here too. I was walking down the street and he drove past me and then pulled into his driveway. I walked on by since I didn’t recognize him in that car. He whistled at me and I turned around. He waved and I pulled my sunglasses down to the bridge of my nose and sort of waved back at him. I then proceed to sash shayed around the corner of the store and to the bus stop across the street.

He came to the store after a few minutes. He came back out of the store after his grandfather left. He kept going in and out of the store. At one point he stood at the door and stared at me. I raised a brow in response. No telling if he saw it. He kept doing stuff to his car like adding things to the gas tank and looking in the trunk. Then he finally sat in his car. I am guessing that he was looking at me in the rearview mirrosr. He got out of his car when my bus came. Hmmm. . . Makes me wonder. . .

Anyway, I just played cool and listened to my music and didn’t act all crazy. If he wants me, that’s too bad. I don’t think that he and I should get together right now if ever. At least that is what my logical head and Brandon tell me, but my heart still has this stupid attachment to him. I mean WTF? is that and am I going to do?

I also received a package from my pen pal in Australia. She sent me a letter and a CD with a song from one of her favorite artist. Something like Guy somthing or another. He’s the AU Idol. Just like Kelly Clarkson, the American Idol I suppose. Hmmm. . .

Danielle