Dreaming Hmmm….

I dreamt of my writer friend last night/this morning (as I can not tell if it was night or day while sleeping this will just have to do).

I was walking on the walkway that I walk on every day when I go to work. The cell phone shop had turned into my writer friend’s house. I knew it was his house because of the brown carpet that I saw in a picture. The door was ajar and I pushed it open. The door and front windows looked just like the cell phone shop. On the floor were these pictures that he had emailed me. Only the emailed pictures were in polaroid form. There was also this picture of the writer himself only I knew it was not him in real life, but the photgraph represented him. He was tall, had shoulder length straight blond hair. In the dream I thought “OOOO Now I know what you look like.” He had on aviator sunglasses with his shirt open. Nice flat belly. I was crouched down while looking at the photos. I was worried that my friend would come home and find me there looking at his pictures. So I placed the picture of him in the middle of the floor hoping that he would not notice that the pictures had been moved while I was looking through them. I then stood up and eased the door closed and continued to walk to work.

Gee, it’ll be hard to figure out what my unconscious mind is trying to tell in this one. I don’t know why my mind is trying to put togther a picture of this person. I guess because I learn and remember by visual and feelings that encounters leave me with, so I guess my mind is trying to connect the conversations to an actual person.

I know that he thinks that I do not believe him when he comes to read my journal, but that is not true at all. It is just that I am one of the “regular people” and through the media celebrities seems sort of other worldish and to talk to someone who writes and has fans and gets fan mail and knows other famous people just seems so strange to me. It’s just a peculiar place to be. I hope that I said that correctly. It is hard to convey what I feel and think about it all. He thinks that I do not believe him when I do believe him. I know this must hurt him to think that I am poking fun at what he is telling me and I am sorry for that.

Hmmm…

Maybe I should not talk to people who read my journal because I always end up hurting their feelings and then I feel as though I have to censor myself. But this is my journal and I am not going to stop expressing my thoughts in it.

Hmmmm.

He IMed me and asked me if we were OK and I told him we were. He told me that he did not get the feeling that we were OK from my journal. I did not think that he still came to read my journal after he finished reading the Alan stories. Surprise Danielle! I really wish that this could all be worked out. I think that it has been worked out though because we started chatting as usually about whatever. Note to self: Must come of with uncomfortable questions to ask my writer friend. I suppose that I could call him by his name, but I like my writer friend better. He knows what his name is, so I think that is OK right? But since I never call him by his name I will strive to call him Mike once in a while. lol

I am online avoiding Miranda’s phone as you may have guessed. I just can’t handle all that bad news. I hate to have to face the music! What if she is calling to fire me. I mean I will never be without work since I could get a job easily, but still I do not like rejection. I don’t take to it too well. This is why I avoid all things that involve rejection like relationships and some occasions that I have the chance to venture out.

Hmmmm…. Must take steps to work on this!!!!

~@~ Danielle ~@~