They say you shouldn’t look back. . . Oops. . .

[imood mood at time of entry: thoughtful]

I am just about all packed up and ready to go. The walls and most of my bedroom ceiling are bare. I didn’t know how long our house would hold water if any got in, and I didn’t want any of my posters to be ruined by water damage. I have gathered most of my memories, clothes, and books. I couldn’t leave any of that behind. I tore up my room looking for the plastic container I keep my pen pal letters in.

I have been experiencing panic attacks on and off for the past couple of days, but I pushed around them. I had things to pack up and a home to help secure. Now that most of my more important belongs are ready to be transported, I can’t quite stop myself from crying or feeling devastated. A lot of people’s homes are going to be wiped out, and I have an idea of what I will come home to. There will most likely be roof damage, water in our home, and tree branches/powerlines everywhere. I only hope that the trees around my home don’t fall on the roof.

We are headed north to Temple, Texas, since Houston is not safe by any stretch of the imagination. I am going to miss this place, but I will get to travel a bit. I hate that it had to happen for this reason.

Part of me had been excited. I was examining myself and narrowing what was really important to me in this life, but this house has been my home for more than 15 years.

Mom wanted to leave on Friday, and I insisted that we leave on Thursday, today. Rita decided to grow larger and to speed up, so we are going to leave in the early afternoon hours today.

We have to stick around for my brother’s court date. He was caught stealing a CD player from SEARS. If the bastards in my family would get off of his back, he would not do some of the stupid things he does. I would not have done some of the stupid things I did. But that is to be expected from these horrible people.

Even though I cannot stand them, I am hoping that they are taking steps to get out of the way of this storm. It’s ironic. I have spent years waiting for them to die, so that I could be free of them and their condescending attitudes. I wanted to not be told that I was crazy because I was not “normal.” I just wanted to be left alone. But even I don’t want them to be in the path of this hurricane.

Some of the men are staying at their houses here, including one of my friends around the corner from me. I pray that he makes it out okay. He lives in an apartment building. I don’t know whether he is upstairs or down and how this will affect the damage to his home and the threat of danger to his life.

I know that I have yet to respond to anyone who replied to my last entry. I have meant to, but I have grown increasingly reclusive. I don’t like contact very much at the moment. I have had so many bad turns this Summer with people who were supposedly my friends, that I can’t stand to be around people in any form. There have been a few exceptions, but they have been limited to people who usually have no connection with my life whatsoever. Until now, that is.

I have joined a Guild on Neopets and a new fandom, the “Xiaolin Showdown” fandom. Dorky, I know, but the cartoon series makes me happy. I even joined a stamping/rating community to see who I would be voted as. Everyone has complimented me on my application thus far. It’s pretty standard, but I love surveys. I will bring it over to my journals sooner or later for posting.

I even created a couple of LiveJournal communities in support of my two pairings. I will need to create the graphics for the community soon.

I am scared, but I just want to get out of the way. I don’t know how that is going to work out. All of the roads are jammed. I wish that we could have left sooner. Damn court date.

I am not working this weekend. My company called earlier to let me know the events were canceled and that they were handing out our paychecks a day early. I had no intention of going in, but at least I know I’ll have more money to spend on food and gas. There will be a mandatory meeting for the staff on October 3rd.

*sigh*

I just hope that myself, my family, and my home make it out okay. We really can’t afford to find a different place to live. I don’t think that we will find rent cheaper. Perhaps if I asked for help. I don’t know.

I can’t get over this feeling that everything will work out okay. I feel a refreshing sense of calm at the moment. I’ll simply enjoy it for what it is.

My mom just came home. She has rented a van for us to use. Well, my deceitful aunt has rented a van for us. It’s much larger than our regular van. I think that we will be able to take all of our packed belongs with us. Cool.

I am going to go wander around the Internet until I decide to shower or go to sleep. If anyone needs to reach me, I will look around Temple to see if they have free Internet access. I don’t even know if they have libraries. I think that I should be back in Houston in a few days. Have a wonderful week and weekend everyone.

Danielle

EDIT: My mom came home a little while ago after she dropped my aunt and uncle off at the bus station. We packed the rented van up, and she told me that the court date had been rescheduled to October 6th.

We only have to let my brother, Todd, pack his belongs of choice into the van, pick up my sometimes charmingly stubborn Aunt Bea, and pick up/cash/deposit my paycheck before we can head out. How soon we are able to leave depends on how early my grandma’s provider shows up to bathe and feed her.

This is better than trying to work around sitting in a courtroom. Phew!