Elevators and Suicide

[imood mood at time of entry: uneasy]

I am in quite a pissy mood right now. I went in to work today, and I could not finish my paperwork. I had no idea how many pieces of missing product had left the area before I got there. So that threw me off.

And apparently, one of my good friends has either tried to kill herself and failed, or tried and succeed. Perhaps she did not try at all. She left a suicide note in her LiveJournal. I don’t know what to do. I lost her number months ago, and I never got around to asking for it again. I enjoyed speaking with her on the telephone for a few hours. That’s yet another thing that still retains its novelty. Speaking with an Internet friend in “real life.”

I’m miserable thinking about her, and whether or not she is gone or not. That, with the darned faulty elevator dream I had this morning, is not helping. I’ve had dreams where I go to use an elevator, but I see that the bottoms are never secure.

This morning, there were three elevators in the bottom of a building that resembled the ones at work. There were two passenger elevators and one freight. The freight elevator was smaller than it normally would be. It’s inside was completely wet, and the doors snapped shut as soon as you tried to get on it. Even if you got near it. The passenger elevator next to the freight had it’s doors stuck open, with the bottom hanging sideways. The second passenger elevator in the corner across from the first passenger and freight elevator set had some strange grounding about it.

There was a sign which stated that the elevator could only go down one level at a time in red ink. Since we were on the bottom level, the elevator had nowhere to go. Some woman pushed past me and the people I was giving a rallying speech to on how we would get to the upper levels of the building to ride that elevator.

The doors shut, there was some movement, and then a ding. The doors reopened, and the woman was blasted everywhere. Like the elevator malfunctioned in a science fiction, crossed dimension sort of way. There was no blood that I saw. She was just sort of stretched and air brushed in the air just inside the doorway of the elevator. I don’t really know how to explain this part of the dream actually.

I remember mentioning taking the stairs when the woman pushed past me. What’s strange to me, is that I took the manager/supervisor elevator today. The last time that I did that, I had had another faulty elevator dream.

I guess this one is more about choosing the less dangerous and smartest path. I’m uneasy right now because of that dream and Peggy. I hope that Peggy has not killed herself. I don’t think that she has, but maybe the whole sensing thing does not work correctly for me over such a long distance.

I think that I might call Lucy now, as writing here is not making me feel any better. I just feel more frightened. It’s times like these that I am glad I have wives to talk to. I do hope that she is home.

Danielle