Secrets of a Sexy Klutz

[imood mood at time of entry: chipper]

Ok, here is this bit that I came up with yesterday (Sunday, August 15, 2004). I went into a mad fit of giggles and wrote it down to post here. Enjoy!

-Danielle

Ever wonder how to make your bumbling wiles work for you? Well, now you can with the help of DMitchell1985’s course! First, you need to identify yourself as a klutz, see the list of signs below.

Signs That You Are A Klutz

1. You can’t walk more than ten feet without tripping over your own.

2. Using the stairs seems damn near impossible because you’re bound to miss one, or two, or all of them.

3. Low-sitting funiture and any inanimate object that sits and minds its own business is not your friend. Too many run ins.

4. Carrying a load of anything in your arms leads to diaster.

5. People identify you as that girl/guy/person/Captain Destructo.

If any of the aforementioned signs point to you, don’t fret. Here are some tips on how to turn your klutziness into a honed flirting technique:

The Rules Of Being A Sexy Klutz

1. Never be ashamed of your klutzy mojo.

2. Always work your klutzy mojo.

3. Remember that you are hot even when banging your knees against a table of falling down the stairs.

4. Find equally accident-prone friends and strut your collective klutzy stuff together.

5. Find a man (or woman) who worships as you are.

Check out some of the confessionals!

Hello, my name is Danielle, and I was once a hopeless klutz just like you. I couldn’t get a man, or woman, or anyone to save my life. It wasn’t until DMitchell1985’s life-changing course on how to make my clumsy ways into man-bait that I got a man! Thanks DMitchell1985!

-Danielle

Um yea, ma’ name’s Earl, and this little filly here *smacks DMitchell1985 on the back, hard* saved my love life. I used to couldn’t approach a woman without spilling their drink on them or walking into something. But now, I just give this smile *grins cheekily* that DMitchell here taught me, and now the ladies love me! Thanks DMitchell1985! *gives thumbs up and grins*

-Earl

You see, you too could learn to work that alluring klutzy mojo. With the help of my course, you too could see more nights spent with someone else. Try the sample of my course above, and you’ll see results instanly! For the full course, send checks or money orders to: Secrets of the Sexy Klutz, P.O. Box ABC, Longview, TX 77000, or call 1-555-WORKIT! For three easy payments of $19.95, you too could learn to use your graceless charms for good! Call today!