Cool Days Update

[imood mood at time of entry: wacky]

*tired sigh*

Well I’m kind of tired from all the running around of today and the weight of everything on my mind right now. I’m terribly lonely as all get out since all my friends are either too busy or growing away from me. Mostly too busy.

I talked to Cris last night. It was good talking to him because I do value him as a friend. I’ve said some mean things to him and about him, but it felt so good getting back in touch with him after not talking for so long. We had a good chat indeed. He told me that he has a new girlfriend. Actually, he has two. My first response was to panic and declare my longing for him, but then I thought about it for a couple of seconds and knew that would be a bad idea seeing as how it was the attention I have been missing. I have been seeing less and less of him and growing bitter because of it. It seems like all my friends are going away and living their super fabulous lives without me. I guess this must be punishment for the better part of this year that I spent neglecting them.

I also told him about the way I get over guys by filling the void with another one. I stopped doing that though. He said that it was a vicious cycle. I half heartedly agreed. I also told him about all the mean things guy friends would say about him when we were together. He said that he hadn’t done anything to them and that what they said was mean. He sounded hurt. I hadn’t even told him the worst of it. I sort of summed it up. He told me that no one had said mean things about me to him when we were together. I’m not sure if I believe that.

He told me how I’ve been short with him since things cooled and it’s true. I have been meaner to him because I haven’t felt obligated to be overly nice to him anymore. Now I don’t really hold back if he’s pissing off the way I would before. The way I saw/see it is that he’s not my man anymore so I don’t have to worry about losing him. You know?

So he’s got two girlfriends and doesn’t know what to do. I don’t know what to tell him really that could help the situation. I told him that someone was going to be hurt and that I was glad that it was not me. He agreed and said that he would be hurt too no matter which way it went. I don’t want to say too much since neither girl knows about the other one, but I will say this, I was right!!!!! I was so right! That dream! I had a dream about me warning the new to come into Cris’ life about him being lowdown and now this! God, I am so on! Bad for them, good for me. I serously do feel sorry for both girls.

I did ask him wasn’t he glad that I had said no to him. I was like hey! if I had not said no you wouldn’t have ended up with a fabulous new girl! I think that’s cause to celebrate really. He gave me this sort of mubbled I don’t know and soething else. I couldn’t really understand him. I don’t see why he doesn’t see my happiness for him as a good thing. Or maybe I was a bit too happy. I tend to be that way sometimes.

I am also glad that I said no when he asked me to be his girlfriend those two times. If I hadn’t I would be the one that is being cheated on. I would be the one to be betrayed and find out that I am not my man’s one and only. *sigh* I know that all hell will break out sooner or later. Until then, I will just hold my breath for all of them and keep my fingers crossed. I hope that the best works out for them.

For the most part I am happy for him. I got all squealy and excited. I can’t help it. I squeal when excited about something, especially if I am happy. I was basking in his happy glow and everything. Congrats to Cris!

I went to the dentist today and got my teeth x-rayed and examined. I have cavities and I have been on my Mom to get me an appointment for the longest. I haven’t been to the dentist in three years. You’re supposed to go every six month at the very least. I am going to go back tomorrow to take the boys. I have to bring in my copay and the boys’ too. The dentist assistant reminded me of this transvestite (sp?) that I knew from my old high school. I kept looking at her. (Him?) Hrmm. . . The mystery remains. Well, the name wasn’t the same, but you know it was still interesting to see her.

Well, I am going to proofread this and go read on my backed up journal/diary entries. I am getting a few done at a time. I left off on MissOhMy’s entries. Then I am going to go home and watch Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring since I checked it out from the library near my house. It crispy cool outside and has been for the past few days even though the sun has been shining its heart out. It has also looked like it might snow over the weekend even though Houston doesn’t get snow. It hasn’t even had flurries for a good ten years. So I don’t know what that’s all about. Danged weird weather!

~Danielle