Damn Stupid Sexy Boyfriend! and Other Stories

Today wasn’t so bad. Mom said that she was going to call the school that I am going to go to here in town, but I don’t think that she did. *grumble grumble slap slap* I might have to do it myself. This is not to say that I am too lazy to do it myself, because I have called schools to inquire about enrollment, but Mom wanted to handle this so I am/was letting her. Too darn bad that she can’t step on it.

Last night (Tuesday, November 4, 2003), Cris brought up/pushed the sex issue in a big way. He stopped by my house and we sort of chatted at first. Then he asked me what would a guy have to do to get me to the point where I would have sex with him. Well, anyone who has stopped by before knows the fire is there. They should also know what a hard time I had last night saying no. I mean damn! Stupid sexy boyfriend! Grrr. *lol* He did ask me if he had crossed the line with our “play”. I told him ‘no’ since at the time – and sort of right now – I wanted to cross that line too. I wanted to cross it and then kick it to pieces.

*sigh*

I mean, I want to of course, but we simply have not been dating long enough to even seriously consider that. It’s only been a month and a half (roughly, it’s about five or so days over a half)! Sure, I have liked Cris for a long time and I could use this as a basis to go lovin’ wild, but I won’t.

I know that if I cross that line with Cris there is no going back and I cannot have that. I know how he is and what he wants and I cannot give it to him at this point. If we do something once he will want to do it all the time. He is a “freak” after all. It’s times like this that I sort of wished that I were more on the flat chested side so I would not attract pervs and hot-to-trots.

Also, I think he is sort of deceptive. He will change his tune to fit the situation. Like when I asked him if he was a whore a few time before he said ‘no’, but last night when I asked him if he was calling himself a whore and was one he said ‘yes’.

He did ask me what was holding me back. I told him a watered down version of what was really keeping me from snuggling up with him. I haven’t even written the full reasons here. What makes him think that I am going to tell him?

I kind of made a deal with him to give me a break with all the sex talk. I just don’t need that kind of worry right now. I have more important things to do besides being “laid up” in some hotel with a guy. Pfft. I have school to worry about, cleaning out my house, throwing away old things I don’t use, getting a new job, setting up my room. Lots of things. So, until I can find a way to control myself I am going to have to stay farrrr away from Cris. This will prove to be impossible as he lives down the street and around the corner from me and I pass his house nearly every day to go to Prestina’s house. Hell, I even ran into him outside his house coming here with Brandon (my brother, not Lytewyng). The damned boy only has to be in the area around me and I go jelliod and wanting. Sad really, but I blame the hormones. I didn’t stop shaking (from trying my darnedest to hold back) for a while after he left.

Oh, I also find it funny that he was more than happy to be hugging on me and trying his best to introduce me to “little Cris” last night, but I couldn’t even get a back hug (where he turns around and I hug him) tonight. He said that he was too contagious. Whatever. He was contagious last night, but I didn’t see that stopping him. Pfft. Porc.

Danielle