Seeking: COMFORT, Tall, Gorgeous, and All Mine!

[imood mood at time of entry: ok]

I am up late again tonight/this morning. Mom is back to disapproving of the hours I keep. She tells me that I have no job to go to, and should be sleep. If I do not have a job to show up for, what would be the point of sleeping? I have all day to sleep. Late Night is the only time that AOL stays connected without interuptions from people (my annoying mother) trying to call and knock me off. She has this amazingly annoying habit of calling and letting the phone ring more than a dozen times until someone picks up, or turns off the ringer. We have Voice Mail now, but this does not stop her from continually calling. She calls about the most trivial things, and makes out like it is the end of the world if we do not answer. Honestly! And I am starved for attention? I do come by it honestly. What with the rest of my overly dramatic family and all.

I have been logging a lot of hours lately to work on my Yahoo! Group. I have had a few people join as of late, and I am hoping that someone will finally appreciate all the hard work I am putting into posting articles of interest. I truly want this group to be the kind of group that I would like to join. I made a bid to invite people, and my first test run did not work out very well. No one replied back to me. I figured as much, but I can only keep trying. I will send out the next batch of email sometime later on today if I can swing it.

What’s funny is I had this dream where all these people joined, but when I woke up, I saw that no one had. Now, a few days later, a couple more people joined. Who says my finally deciding to actually promote the group does not work? Not quite sure who any of the members are, or anything else about them. They never say anything, not even when I personally welcome them to the group. *hunches*

There was this adorable dragonfly that would flutter by, to settle on my computer screen for the last couple of weeks. Every day, this dragonfly would come to my computer when I sat down to work on the Internet. Last week, s/he (I feel as though it is a he.) settled on my keyboard instead of the monitor as usual. Well, the next morning, I came back to my computer to find that it had gotten itself lodged in between the keys and could not get out. At this point, my heart was bursting with adoration of this baby dragonfly that graced me with its peaceful presence, and I just had to free this delicate being from the confines of my keyboard. I did so as gently as I could using a piece of paper, but I am sad to say that I have not seen the dragonfly since. I hope that I do see it again.

I am once again listening the sounds of my neighbors start their cars to leave for work. It fills me with this satisfied sense of calm and peace just knowing that there are others up besides myself, and they are well enough to leave their houses. I think this is particularly pronouced because the neighbor to which I am refering is living in the house of my childhood neighbors, all of whom I have out lived. *sniffles* I hated and resented my current neighbors when they first moved in. They were not the childhood memories of my youth. They were new and different, and most importantly, not one bit grandparent-ish. I suppose my lack of grandparents has me seeking them out where ever I can, but a large, sadder part of me knows that it is not only grandparents I seek.

I am bored, slightly empty, and worst of all, very limited. *sighs deeply* I do not know what I must do except some soul searching. I have been avoiding that, as it conjures what I fear most, but must move forward into. At least I think I am supposed to move forward. Denial truly is not my friend. Neither is procratination.

I really should get off to lie in bed until my mother leaves, so, that she will not say anything to me on her way out the door. I could always write. She never takes offense to that nighttime habit of mine, for the most part.

Danielle