Good Cheer To Come? I Sure Hope So. . .

[imood mood at time of entry: exhausted]

Well, I’m here at school whether am truly satisfied or not. Today hasn’t been a total wash. Not so bad at all. I ran into many people who still did not know that I was indeed back. They were so glad to see me that I greeted by more hand shakes and hugs and smiles. I did of course get the “evil eye” from this particularly snarky girl and her group of friends as I walked by to go to first lunch. Whatever. She’s never liked me. Bitch. I also got a round of laughs for a group of boys. At least I think that they were aimed at me. I can’t be sure. I did get the usually disrespectfully “Dangs!!!!” and whatnot about my breasts that come with a Black school full of ignorant children. May God help them.

Anyway, I’m on Lunch break again (we take both the first and second lunch) from French. The class is a mix of French 2 and 3 though is is mostly 3. I think there is one other French 2 student into that class.

I went up to see Mrs. Gavin (sp?) to take my yearbook picture. I got there right after the woman organizing everything on the disk burnt it. No such luck there. Oh well, I don’t really need to be in the yearbook now do I? Mrs. Gavin did ask me why wasn’t I in Yearbook. I do want to be. I hadn’t thought to ask for the class. *sighs*

She wants me to talk to Mrs. Buffington and get her to place me her class. I’d love to be there if I could. She told me if I couldn’t make it this semester then definitely next year. I have toyed with the idea of getting out this year, but I don’t know. Maybe the extra semester would be good for me. Maybe not. I don’t really need Yearbook to get out. Hrmmmmm. . . . . . I might have to sacrfice my desire to do something I’d love for the need to be in classes that will get me out of high school sooner. *sighs* That sucks. Stupid Mr. Whatever his name was! He screwed me over!

If I had not spent all that time wasting my hope on San Marcos, I could have been in school and taken some of these classes already. Then I wouldn’t be stuck the way that I am. That goddamned school never cared enough about me to get me somewhere quick instead of screwing around with my education which holds more importance than any of those stupid man’s games. If I could slap the man I would. I’d probably skin him alive too.

*deep, regretful sighs*

Well, I don’t want to work myself into such a mood that I cannot get out again.

Back to school then. Even my former back-stabbing friends were happy to see me. They were all “Hi Danielle!” and all smiles and cheery even though she and her crew spread rumors about me and my mom and told everyone that I was gay after I was gone. Pfft. I would never be so dumb as to blindly allow this girl back into my heart freely. Many a day I thought about her because we were supposed to be bestfriends and sisters and she just washed that all away because apparently she felt no further use for me. I don’t understand how someone gets so close to you and then pretends that it was all for nothing. What ever happened to being best friends? I can’t stand treacherous people. To hell with them.

If any new friendship is to brew with this girl it shall be by my rules and I shall play the game. I know now to never trust anyone at a Black school. Everyone’s always out to get someone or put up to front. It’s all so stupid.

*sighs*

I just feel worn out right now.

Oh! It turns out that I didn’t have three new chapters in my favorite Haldir slash story to read. It was replies from the author. They were all quite funny and I enoyed them, but I was very disappointed not to find a story waiting on me. Oh well, perhaps good cheer will come soon.

Danielle