Fuck This!

I may as well get this out of the way now, I should just go ahead and retitle this journal “Diary of A Mad Black Woman” for the purpose this journal seems to serve as of late.

Never again will I put my heart out there. Never, ever again will I get back with an ex. That was the first and last time that I will EVER do that! When I asked Cris Monday (Novenber 10, 2003) if there was a legitimate chance of us getting back together after he read that “upsetting” entry, he should have said “No.” instead of dragging me along. I mean, what the fuck?!?

We kind of sort of “got back together”, but then he told Prestina that he didn’t want me to call him and all this other bullspit. I even told him last night to tell me that he didn’t want me and I would leave him alone. I am not going to sit here and chase after someone who doesn’t want to be with me.

Once again I am glad that I did not give into Cris’ pushing in the sex area. If he truly wanted to be with me he would have just left that alone since I’ve told him that I didn’t want to go there yet. He kept quoting that “the average American couple” has sex by the third date. Apparently, he does not know me as well as he thinks he does because I am no where near average and I damn sure don’t claim to be American most of the time either. So what is that little piece of information supposed to mean to me? Then he had the audacity to say that he knew that I wanted to because he read it in my journal. I mean, yea I’ve had my urges, but I have never fully wanted to go through with anything like that with him. And how dare him to be so malicious to try and throw my words that were written during times of extreme excitement in my face?! That goes to show me what kind of a pig he really is.

I can already see that it is time for evil Danielle to put in an appearance. For those who don’t know who evil Danielle is I’ll introduce you. She is the girl that will use and abuse and then throw away men like they are nothing but garbage. She is chick that won’t take any shit from any man. She does not fall in love. She does get hopeful of a future and she damn sure does not stay with people for nearly two months. She isn’t faithful and she wouldn’t give a damn if you found out because that’s just the way it is. You know why evil Danielle was allowed to exist? Because men are pigs and deserve evil Danielles; furthermore, she wasn’t sleeping with anyone, so she was free to flint from man to man to man and not give a second thought about it.

And to think that I was thinking it was baking time!

Cris said how I slammed him in my journal and all of that. Well was this slam hard enough for you to “feel me”?! I sure hope so!

Sure, I’m hurt now and I might need a few days, but I will get over Cris and any feelings I have for him. I need to if evil Danielle is going to make her grand come back.

Prestina told me that I shouldn’t talk about how it’s over because I don’t know that it’s true and then she said that I should forget him. Which do you think I agree with? Hrmmm?

I did have this one guy who was quite persistant in talking to me at the mall this afternoon when Prestina, Dame’on’s sister and I walked up there. He was so gross that I would NEVER in my right mind consider going out with him. He was looking me up and own talking about how he wanted to be with me. Fuck that! If I did go out with him I would use his sorry ass as a stepping stone to get a little closer to evil Danielle.

Well, my time is almost out and I feel better now that I’ve gotten this out. I am probably going to leave in a few.

Well, goodbye Cris.

Danielle