Working For the Not-So-Wholly-Satisfying-Weekend

[imood mood at time of entry: Down]
[Personal Mood at time of entry: Downtrodden]

You would think, with this being a library and all, that a girl could expect a bit of silence. But nooo, I’ve got people singing and others on their cell phones. I’ve got people talking loudly and playing games without any headphones on. This doesn’t even include the fact that most of the libraries I go to are ridiculously cold!

Is this some sort of library thing?! Is there a mandate written down somewhere that says all libraries must be cold forever and ever?! I mean, yes, I get the whole thing about needing temperature control to protect the books and whatnot, but freezing all the frickin’ time?! Is there really no middle ground for these people?!

*huffs*

Anyway, I’m still working on my challenge drabbles, as if that weren’t obvious (painfully, if you don’t dig SGA or slash). I’m already 14 up on 50 and I was thinking of posting two every single day, at the very least, because I really want to be finished with this challenge before Nano gets here. I don’t want to have anything else or any possible excuse as to why I can’t write on Nano. I can’t afford to give myself an out of any kind, because I am lazy and I have fallen into bad habits.

I am really hoping to work on original fiction, but David (Hewlett) and Jason (Momoa) are eating my brain at the moment. David with his wife (Jane Loughman) and new baby (Sebastian Flynn) and Jason with his cheating ways. I know that I have more important things to concentrate on, but I can’t help but feel a bit jealous of David and what have you. If it makes me seem even a bit less like a crazed fan, there is the fact that I get this way with people I’ve actually met.

I don’t need someone to appear on a television show I like to hate or be jealous of them. Wow! I’m sure that that makes me look good. Real good.

So, there’s that. There’s also work. We had one of our sexual harassment, sanitation, and safe alcohol selling procedures meeting today. We’ve all simply been joking all week that we’re going to learn how to sexually harass our co-workers more efficiently. And why shouldn’t we? If we’re expending all of that energy, we might as well do it the right way the first time around.

Work is still work, which means it sucks a duck. I fucking hate it there most of the time, but what can you do? I am definitely looking for a second job, but I don’t seem to have anything coming in soon enough. I have something that is supposed to be a trial run, but I haven’t gone in for that yet.

One of my co-workers, Alex, came up to me today and asked me about the rumor someone started about me putting in my two weeks notice. I confirmed the rumor to screw with the rumor mill. I think that the disappointment just might kill them. At least, I hope that it will.

I haven’t put in notice, and I don’t plan to. Those bastards are just hoping that they can get rid of me, all the while the people I hate the most are dropping off one-by-one. I hope to see this continue. I really do, as they truly don’t like Black folks there and have actively conspired to get rid of people in the past. (They even tried to get me to help them.) There’s always some snide comment about having to wait on a “Black table” or “those negroes.”

Gee, I just love people.

So I spend all of my time trying to duck and dodge that bullshit, along with everyone’s incessant whining about not getting this or getting too much of that or asking me why am I doing X, Y, and Z a certain way. Most days, I just feel like telling these people to Shut The Fuck Up already, because really, who in the hell wants to listen to them?

And then there’s the fakeness of it all. Damn near everyone there is the type of person to smile in your face, but talk about you like a dog behind your back. I’m really glad that we can work as a cohesive team in a loving environment. Yes, you will be cueing the snorts and comments just there.

*sighs*

And it’s not like there’s really anything I can do, because my job really is what could be called White Country and there aren’t very many of “us” around. There’s also the fact that our managers pick favorites and will believe whoever they want to believe. That fucking sucks, because it makes it all the harder to go to them and let them know your side of the story. This is especially true after people have slandered your name for months.

I am thoroughly surprised that I made it this long in such a toxic environment, but I’ve done it before in school and at former jobs. I just hope that after all of this time, I make it to my one year anniversary. I deserve that one year pin, because that is all of the appreciation I can ever expect. It really is, because Rachel and I were talking earlier about how everyone is two-faced and don’t appreciate the fact that we go out of our way to help out around there.

It’s never-ending and I truly see how people could go in want to smack everyone in an entire building. To that effect, this is what I’d very much would like to do:

Between the crappy ass customers, my shitty co-workers, and my bills piling up, I feel like I am going to snap sometimes. Mostly, I’m annoyed because these people bring me down off of the high I’ve manage to reach. Just as I start to feel better and not as weighed down, I get more shit to deal with.

It’s no wonder that I use fiction and games as an escape.

Danielle