Writing Has All Kinds of Complications

[imood mood at time of entry: cold]

So I’ve spent a lot of time writing various fan fics over the past couple of weeks or so. I’ve received wonderful feedback from readers and my betas. I’m using the sudden surge of written works to tighten my writing skills. They grown slack in all of the months that I couldn’t bring myself to write a word of anything, including journal entries.

I am seriously considering submitting writing samples to an African-American-geared paper here in town. I have one sample that just needs to be smoothed out and another that I need to finish. I know that I have journal entries and other musings that could certainly be used as a writing sample. What I need to do the most is look up a proper writing sample. I want to get the word count and such correct.

I am also hoping that my school newspaper experience will work in my favor, because I have written for every newspaper at every school I have attended that had one. This is dating back to my middle school days. I was even an editor on my high school newspaper when I attended Lee and got a sneak peek at the Texans before the franchise officially launched. I’d say that that was worth something. Right?

The one story that is plaguing me is a certain Final Fantasy VII story I am attempting to write. It is so completely removed from my usual fare that I have found myself floundering tremendously over the past few days. I know how to write what I want to and how I want to write it, but I can’t seem to get the words out. I don’t know. It’s a strange kind of halting writer’s block that seems to be more than usual writer’s block

*sighs*

I am still working on funding for school. I got most of my scholarship packet in on time. I discovered that I hadn’t included my degree plan, so I took that to the Student Services/Welcome Center Office last week. I hope that the small oversight is not held against me, because I really do need that money. Hell, I’ve already signed up for classes in the Fall, because I really would like to finally be certified to work on computers.

I still need to do FAFSA, but I can never seem to catch up with my Mom long enough to get her tax information from her. The damned family is going to run her into the ground, and they say that I am her biggest worry. You know what I say to that? No. Fucking. Way.

I have missed the simple joy of coming to DD and just writing whatever is on my mind. I seem to have less and less time to go to all of the sites I have accounts on. When I post on LJ, there’s always this worry in the back of my mind that I am boring someone or that my friends list is going to drastically decrease because I either try to post ‘serious’ posts there or I fangirl too much. :-/ Where exactly is that middle ground everyone seems to go on about?

I know that it is not my Aunt Nelma’s house, because I walked out of her house over a week ago and have not been back yet. I was trying to work on some fiction when she burst into her computer room and made a big deal about the door being closed. I tried to explain in a reasonable tone why the door was closed and ask if she minded if I just closed it when I was writing something. She flew off the handle and told me that she would always open a closed door in her house, because it meant that the room’s occupant was closing themselves off from the family. More like she’s an insecure so-and-so that can’t stand the thought of people having their own space, rather.

Normally, I use computers in open spaces, because I usually don’t care if people look at most of the things that cross my screen. It’s just the fact that Aunt Nelma watches television so loudly that I cannot concentrate on what I am reading or writing at her house. It’s frustrating and she once again proved her inability to compromise with anyone other than herself.

On my last attempt to explain to her how writing worked, she cut across me to say something along the lines of, “Close the door this time if you want, but I’ll take it off its hinges the next time you come over.”

Once she said that, I got my stuff ready and repeatedly called my Mom to come give me a ride home. I didn’t have to take that craziness when I could simply opt to go home and write.

I haven’t spoken to her since, and I can’t say that I plan to anytime soon. This is not the first time she has blown up over something so trivial in nature. About a week or so before the door incident, she blew up at me because I said the dish we were eaten was spicy, which it was. She kept saying that there was no spices in the food, when there was. The last time I checked, salt, pepper, paprika, and the like were spices. She kept insisting that only herbs had been put in the food. Seeing as I cooked the majority of the meal and I know what I added, I was in a position to say what was and was not in the food.

I just let it go, because she was being such a bitch about it, even though I saw her add more spices after I had already put some in. She later apologized, but this is still ridiculous.

I guess that I will try to figure out the part of a nearly-finished fic I need to re-write before I post it. I am hoping to post it tonight so that I have the possibility of returning to an Inbox tomorrow filled with at least one encouraging review that’ll help me navigate writing in the FFVII fandom a little better.

Wish me luck on the fronts of college funding, the writing samples, and the never-ending real life drama; since, those are super fun to involve myself in.

Danielle