The Joy of Fustrations

It’s been nearly forever (yea. . . *looks around*) since I’ve gotten to write here. I have been writing like a maniac in my offline journal. I wrote these letters to Prestina and Cris talking about everything that was on my mind at the time. I am going to transcribe them here when I get a chance. Well, at least the ones to Cris. They are quite lengthy so I will probably do part on one day and part on another.

Life has been OK since I last checked in. I am trying to get all the journals read, but I never have enough time to sit down and read like before when I had my computer. God, I miss my computer. One day I wil get another one.

I am also reeeeeally excited about the fact that Prestina has a journal here at DD too. I have to go sign up for her Notify List. Perhaps she will do the same with me. I really need to get a list or code or something so that I can list the journals that I read. I do read several and I feel as though others should read them too. I am so glad that she is taking my advice about writing things down. I love to inspire. *lol*

The other thing that has me in sort of a tiszy is the fact that now Cris wants me to show him how to set up a journal here and wants to read mine. Yikes! *lol* I just don’t know what he will do when he reads some of the stuff that I wrote about him. Folks, to tell the truth, I am excepting my walking papers after he reads some of the things I write about in here. The reason that I am so open here is because I never had to worry about anyone from my life reading what I had to say about them or the thoughts in my head. You know what I mean? Now I have two people that I know who are going to be reading my journal and it freaks me out. From experience, I have found that talking to those you write about never turns out well. *sigh* Perhaps things will work themselves out.

I also had to go back and make some entries private. There were some things that dealt with Prestina I knew she wouldn’t want Cris to know; and there was that entry about when I went in search of Dr. Carol and couldn’t find her. He simply does not need to know about that!

Anyway, I have to head home now so that I can finish getting ready. Cris and I are going on a picnic which I was supposed to cook for, but he didn’t want me to. He just doesn’t understand that is how I communicate my love/good feelings/adoration for people. I cook for them or I write them poems or I do things for them. I don’t see why he won’t allow me to be his girlfriend. I don’t even feel as though I could give him little trinkets the way I do everyone else. I can’t bring him anything special just because I want to. This is extremely fustrating to me.

Oh, I have to go now. I’ll have to finish this later.

Danielle