Party Time! (loooong entry! You have been warned. *wink*)

Oh God where do I start? My life is just that more interesting since I started dating Cris and finding out his secrets from all of our mutual friends.

Ok, WoW. Ok, I had not planned to go to Damien’s birthday party. I wanted to cook the food early and be out of there since I did not want to see Cris and Tiffanie together. As my luck or as the Fords and Damien would say, “The Lord” would have it, it ended up being just the two couples. Prestina and Damien and Cris and me. No one else showed up and Prestina waited until the party began to start cooking. This made things sort of quiet and uncomfortable. But only a little bit. Damien entertained us all with his dancing and lap dances for all the girls. A young lady named Brittany came later on. Prestina and I knew her from Kennedy Elementary.

Ok, this is what happened. I stayed the night at Prestina’s on Friday (October 10, 2003). We cleaned and cleaned and did some more cleaning. I was drenched in sweat. I washed tons of dishes because Prestina’s cousins were at the house. They were there Friday and Saturday (October 11, 2003). Michael and Jaylen, Prestina’s brother dressed up in wigs and drag. Funny stuff.

I played with Kayla and Isaac in the yard Saturday morning. While we (me and Kayla) were in the front yard after we finished climbing the tree we started walking down the street to meet up with Isaac. This is when Cris came.

I had been showing the children which ants you can eat with no stinging problems and which tree was the best for climbing. We picked the only one in the front yard as the best. We also ate pecans that fell out of the trees and played with natural clay. We had our special sticks that we used for exploring brushes, trees and clay. We also talked in accents for most of the day. The accent was somewhere between Scottish, Jamacian, English and God knows what.

I realized yesterday that I very much want to be a mommy. I want to pass things on to my children. I liked teaching them the difference between right and wrong (when everyone was in the back yard and wanted to steal fruit out of the next door neighbor’s tree) and what they would need to survive or have a good time.

We (Kayla, Isaac, and I) walked back to Prestina’s to pick up Brice who was running down the middle of the street to come to us. I waved at Cris and he sort of gave me this little wave thing. I asked him if that was all the love that I could get from him several times with a bigger wave each time. He told me that he couldn’t get any love from me when we rode to Wal Mart together Friday.

We went to Wal Mart Friday (October 10, 2003) to get the drumettes and soda for the party. We also got a mop and lemon pepper seasoning. Cris kept trying to talk to me but I wasn’t really interested in talking to him. I wanted to listen to my music on my little Sports Radio. He claimed that I was being antisocial. I wasn’t. I was just doing my own thing while going to the store with them. I only went because Prestina begged me to. He was just upset that I was not showering him with attention the way I did when we were together. Whatever.

So the party was fun except for Damien acting like a jackass to Prestina. He kept ordering her around and he even called her a ‘ho’ at the movies. *smacks lips* This did not exactly make Cris happy. He was threatening bodily harm. *lol*

On Friday and Saturday whenever there were rides to be had it was always carefully ochestrated that I ended up sitting in the front seat of Cris’ car. Even at the movies I sat next to Cris. But this was Cris’ doing because he told Prestina to move so that he could sit next to me. We went to see The Fighting Temptions, which I hated and found boringto seat. I asked Prestina if everyone was in on trying to get us together she said ‘no’, but everyone sang a song talking about two people trying a second time at a relationship with God’s help at Prestina’s house before we left to go to the movies. That was extrememly embarassing since everyone is simply going to assume that we were going to get back together.

When we got to the movies me and Prestina recognized Brandon, an old dog of a boyfriend for both of us. We said our hellos but I gave him a hug too. Brandon made it a big boob clutching hug. Normally, I would have beaten him for this, but Cris was there and I wanted him to see what he was missing. Sure, he asked me out Thursday, but I wanted him to really see.

I had my date for the night, Brittany, but I ended up with Cris as my sort of date too. He wasn’t going to go to the movies but when I told him that I was going he showed up at Prestina’s house . God, it feels so wierd. I don’t know why, but me and Cris just fit together. I have spent my entire life or as far as I can remember, liking him and now I finally have him. If you are wondering about a Ms. Tiffanie, the almost recipient of a Danielle slap fight/beat down, he told Prestina “fuck Tiffanie”. *lol* Apparently, he was going to ask her to go out with him and if she said no he would come back to me. He never asked her to go out with him.

So we are sort of back together. We both said that we needed to talk before we officially got back together. I said that it should be a real no bullshit talk about everything. We both want each other so badly, but things kept screwing things up. No communication and his lying were the worst of it. Me and Prestina think that he is going to tell me about Tiffanie. If he doesn’t I will think twice about going back out with him. If he lies to me now he will continue to lie to me. That is the worst thing that anyone could ever do to me. I have been deceived and done in by so many people, most of which have been my own family, so honesty is very important to me. I try to make an effort to be as open and honest as best that I can and that is all that I ask of everyone else. I don’t think that is too much.

Oh gosh, this entry has gone on and on, but I had so much to tell. *lol*

At the movies we had this family thing going on. One of the characters in TFT kept saying to the babies “You know I’m your daddy right?” Damien was saying this to me. I kept saying “You know it baby!” So it ended up that Damien was my father. Prestina was my daughter and Brittany was my sister. So I was dating my sister and Prestina was dating her grandfather. *lol* Cris didn’t want to be a part of our family. I wonder why. Hmmm. I told him that he could be my brother. *wink wink* He just said that he was a friend of the family, but we all know that birds of a feather. *lol* He told us that we were a screwed up family. So says him! Humph!. *lol*

I truly hope that things work out the best for me and Cris. I spent all of last week hurting. I don’t want a second round of that. Even through all that hurt, I still wanted him. I had the strogest desire for his body, attention and company. I didn’t know why, but I did. And the strange thing about it is he wanted me too. Mrs. Ford was right when she said that Cris did not know what he wanted. I didn’t want to be some second hand girl that he could just pick and chose from. Now, I will decide, after our talk if I want to be with him. God! This is so hard!

Danielle